A Friendship Agenda?
I was at the Stylist Live event recently and had the good fortune to listen to Caitlin Moran in conversation with Sali Hughes talking about the meaning of friendships.
And I have to admit that at one point, I had to suppress a big snort and stop myself from standing up and yelling
‘yay we have something in common, Caitlin’.
Because as these two fabulous ladies talked they mentioned that they have Agendas for their girly get-togethers.
And hey guess what. So do we.
I managed to keep myself nicely to myself without shouting and I absolutely loved their piece on Agendas.
They were brilliantly clever and funny.
But I didn’t mention mine.
There’s nothing worse than the audience muscling in on your act is there?!
But we really do have Agenda’s too.
Fortunately, I have friends that will vouch for our Agendas and tell you that this is not me just trying to impersonate a famous person and pinch their funny lines in a ‘stalkery’ kind of way.
I am not sure what kind of friendships qualify for an Agenda but there is certainly a need for one with some.
The reason for this is that the chances are that you and this friend may not meet that often and there are things that you absolutely must remember to tell each other.
They have to be done in person, there needs to be a real life conversation.
And there needs to be wine or Prosecco. Or both.
You need to see each others facial expressions while they tell you or you tell them the story.
You need to see them roar if it’s something funny and you need to hear their advice if it’s an important life issue.
And you need to see their face take in the latest random happening that no one else will believe and you only want to tell them anyway.
Because you like their response. Because you can laugh at their reaction. And them yours.
You also do all of these things for them.
And they are the only ones that you can do this with.
Nothing other than face to face is good enough for this kind of Agenda.
For both parties, there is no greater satisfaction of finally getting to number 4 on the agenda after 6 hours.
I suppose the need for such an Agenda may have arisen from the acquired parenting skill of jumping randomly from one conversation to the next. In these conversations, you never find out anything.
You come away knowing less than you did before going. Yet you are full of intrigue wondering what the outcome was. You also know that you will never find out because quite simply you wont remember to ask.
So perhaps the Agenda was borne out of this frustration.
Except you now have 10 hours to focus entirely on the Agenda and make sure every item is fully cogitated.
Of course the advent of the ‘Bottomless Prosecco Brunch’ has also contributed to helping the Agenda discussions progress over the course of several hours.
There is generally a solution to most things these days.
So the Agenda may well be compiled over the course of several months with combined input from each attendee.
And you absolutely have to hold on to this stuff because texting and What’s App just don’t cut it for these Agenda items.
These Agenda items are gems and the afore-mentioned reactions are key to fulfilling a need.
They are also confidential.
What appears on the Agenda stays on the Agenda. There are no minutes at this meeting.
Of course, there are some items that can just be noted. Like health matters. There is nothing to be gained from discussing your latest hospital appointments. It’s generally wise to get these out of the way early. Otherwise this can be akin to googling a medical dilemma.
The exception to this is major operations. If this is the case, full documentation is required.
Glasses will be clanked and Prosecco will be spilled.
The need for the Bottomless Prosecco Brunch may have arisen for this very reason.
If you have ever entered into one of these zones, you will know that the room will be generally full entirely of women.
All doing the same thing. Spilling their Prosecco.
The key to a good Agenda is to have the juicy items towards the middle. There will generally be a small amount of Prosecco and Eggs Benedict on board at this point and you will be able to savour every moment of the juicy items that you have waited four months to hear about.
You will make the most wonderful facial expressions and howl in all the right places.
And if you have attended enough of these meetings you will have the laughter lines to prove that you were actually there.
And boy will you do them justice.
And as with any meetings that you may attend, you will run out of time at the end.
It is at this point in the day that it is perfectly OK to continue the conversation by text on the train going home. Laughing into your screen like you are still together. Like a weirdo – in fact.
Everyone on the train will be your friend by the end of the journey. You will probably tell them how much you love your friend.
But know that this will make no sense whatsoever the next day and you will be wondering what on earth was so funny.
But you will also feel warm and fuzzy inside because you have just had the most fantastic day and you can start to prepare the Agenda for the next meeting – whenever that may be.
So that’s my version of the Agenda.
Feel perfectly free to say that you have one too!
It’s not muscling in. It’s a girl thing.