Yes. D is for Dentist. Not dignity! Just in case you were wondering.
As I mentioned in my recent post Joining the Exclusive 50 Club, you will find yourself visiting the Dentist so often that you feel as though you work there! Although this doesn’t really have anything to do with age. Because, for those of us that are no stranger to the Dentist chair, we know that age is no boundary. It’s just that some of us get to visit more often.
Let’s Get Dressed Up!
So, is it just me that’s noticed that a visit to the Dentist can be a bit like going to a Fancy Dress party these days?
As everyone starts putting on their glasses and headlamps, myself included, you can almost be lulled into the false sense that you are about to have a jolly nice time!!
You may think that someone is going to step forth with a photo booth even, as you straighten the glasses and wait for someone to hand you a Feather Boa!
But this is no party, as you well know! And the only thing you are likely to be handed is a tissue and a bill before you can shout ‘let me at the props’.
Now it could be said that if you’ve given birth then the Dentist is a walk in the park. I disagree.
I’ll take the childbirth thanks.
The only comparison to be had is that you will leave the room lighter. Lighter of pocket and if, you are unfortunate, lighter of teeth.
I am no stranger to the Dentist chair. Oh no! I guess most of us aren’t these days.
If there are any benefits to be drawn from this experience, it has to be that you get to have a lie down.
And About That Lie Down!
If you are a parent, then that ‘lie down’ is a short lived fantasy. Because, even when you are pinned into a Dentist chair, there is no reason not to get ‘The Call’.
By ‘The Call’, I mean ‘The Call’ from the school.
If this happens to be whilst the Dentist is doing ‘impressions’ (and by this I mean the pink gloop variety as opposed to a ‘Mike Yarwood’ special), then so be it.
While the moulds are swiftly removed from your mouth as you bolt from the chair, you cannot be blamed for thinking alarming thoughts such as ‘are my Crowns going to be affected’? Will I be able to eat an apple through barbed wire? Or is ‘Shergar looking for a sidekick’.
But I’ll still vouch for the childbirth over Dentistry as I rush to reception with my pink plastic coated face to pay for my ‘nice time’.
Sadly in my haste, I missed a rinse.
So if D is for Dentist, then R is for Rinse – surely. Because we all know what lies ahead as we eye the pink drink from the horizontal position, don’t we?!
When the moment comes for a ‘rinse’, the little heart sinks. And we can’t get our head close enough to the sink can we. Because we’ve done this so many times before. And this is not something one can master with a numb mouth is it. We know that. We’ve tried before haven’t we guys!
Yet we will compliantly ‘rinse’. Because we always do don’t we? Why is that?
At best, we can hide behind the tissue of shame here. But we know there is no hope of getting anything rinsed. No hope whatsoever.
This brings me nicely on to the glasses.
What’s that all about then? They wear them, we have to wear them, everyone has to wear them. I suppose they need to see, but us? Surely a blindfold would be better?
Are they to protect us from what is to follow? The fact that we are about to do battle with a drill and some suction. If so, they don’t work. We can see it all coming. The fact that they generally end up being vibrated to one side only serves to add to the ‘look’. And we will still be wearing them as we attempt the ‘rinse’. As though they may aid us in some way. And what happens to those that already wear glasses? Glasses over glasses?
And this is where I find that a little mindfulness can come in handy.
Because if we are not careful, we could very easily leave the surgery still wearing them. And it could be that our next stop is the School Reception! That would be very shameful indeed.
We wouldn’t want to get an ‘E’ for Embarrassing Parent now, would we?!
Especially after all we’ve been through.