I am delighted to announce that I am now a proud member of the Exclusive 50 Club.  As I mentioned in my previous post (Platform 50) this is a well attended club and I am in very good company.  It seems that everyone is 50, even if they are not 50.  Random is always good.  I suppose the fact that there are so many of us means that it isn’t really that exclusive, but providing I’m in good company that is all I ask.  As long as you don’t have to start paying to be 50, I don’t mind.  You can never rule it out though in this current climate.  Imagine that.  A 50 Tax.

The Exclusive 50 Club


You may or may not find it strange that I have actually been incredibly excited about this new chapter.  But many of you probably won’t.  Because what this comes down to is the fact that we are all getting younger and new beginnings are always good for the soul.  Equally, not everyone has been as lucky as us to be here so we have no right to be maudlin.

It may also be possible to be turfed out because despite being 50, there will be times when you still feel like a great big baby. Does that ever go? I’m not sure that it does.  And there are times when I do actually feel incredibly immature. Parenting is always good for making you feel a bit like that.

But there are times when you will just own it because you will never stop trying to be that Unicorn.  You know, that Unicorn that is all over everything.  And even though you’ve dropped so much fairy dust trying to dance on the table drinking Champagne, it’s better than being a Pineapple or a Flamingo.

So rather than turn beige and blend in, I thought I’d do the opposite and make a nuisance of myself.



There are a few things that are undeniable at this mid-life stage of life.  And there are some that are remarkable.  Other things will just keep on keeping on and the things that serve you well shall continue to do so.

I am not necessarily any wiser than when I was 49 or any age before that but what I do know is that some things will always remain.

Now, I could be kissing goodbye to any future job prospects on writing a post like this.  Foolishly hoping prospective employers haven’t sussed my age from the CV. #letsnotforgetwevegotallourgoodyearsleft (if you’re reading).   Because on paper, I am 12.  A fledgling remember!

We are also a generation of resourceful problem solvers because someone told us we could skateboard, surf and carry a lilo in a white bikini whilst we had our period. Really!   In the 70’s?  We were of the Dr Whites generation and press on pads were just coming in.  So no, that Lilo look was not possible. But we did our homework and found a way.  Without Google.  Let’s just get a little #jazzhands for that.

And there have been a couple of other achievements.

  • Getting on the waxing and threading ladder early.  It reaps it rewards in later life. This applies to everyone except my daughter.
  • Getting on the property ladder earlier also reaps it rewards but not in the same way as hair removal.
  • Achieving the same effects of Meditation and Relaxation by twiddling with the telephone cord whilst chatting (circa 1985).
  • Witnessing interest rates being 15.25% and just getting on with it. The memory sticks and will always be at the back of your mind when making mortgage decisions.  Entitlement will get you nowhere, taking responsibility will.  If I can leave The Kid with one piece of advice, it would be  ‘never blame the world and others for your lot because you will spend your while life angry’.
  • Putting a Will in place.  In fact if you inhabit a house with a teen and are peri-menopausal, there will be several ‘wills’ in your place. Not least from the poor bloke who lives with you. Most likely to be found ‘willing’ himself somewhere else.

Be OK with the Fact that ………………

This is an age when you start liking things that you have spent your whole life resisting.   And liking that you do.  Like Ibiza.  Especially when you get to walk through the Passport Scanner because you have no Under 12’s with you.  Let’s have another little #jazzhands for that.  And if anyone thought I was going to say Garden Centres – shame on you!

You become more interested in Alternative Therapies

The Pension that’s been going since 1805 is now at the forefront of your mind.

But there are some things that will never be for me, thank you.

Like Mail Order Catalogues.

Just stop!  I don’t want your bloody clothes. I don’t care that my age is your ‘target market’.  I’m not.

I know you are trying to reinvent your brand but mud sticks in much the same why as your Velcro adjustable waist fastenings. It’s painful to receive these. If they don’t appeal to people 29 years my senior, then why me – eh????  Who does the bloody marketing for this age group!!??

And when I do need to buy a portable wee-wee holder, I shall do so rather then wait for it to slide out of the Sunday paper and into my wet lap.  Rest assured that this generation won’t hide behind magazines when they start leaking. It happens, we know it happens along with many other things.

50 Tax.  So There is One!

Oh yes there is!!

Because you start seeing the Dentist with such frequency that you feel as though you work there – the only difference being that you pay them.

The glasses thing comes up.  You will see more of your Optician. No pun intended. Although it goes without saying really!  Who knew how many pairs of glasses you could fit on one face at one time.  Don’t tell me you haven’t done it!!  There is of course financial commitment again.

And whilst not a cost as such, people will start to include you in conversations about flu jabs as though it is your specialist subject.  It isn’t – yet.  But it will probably cost you by the time it is.

I will never stop

Having friends that are much younger and much older than me.  This is the key to being ‘average’.  Or just right.

Celebrating that I have friends with both similar and differing interests and views to mine  It keeps life interesting.

Remembering that even though I’m a parent, that there is a person behind that parenting that is raring to go.  See Unicorn.

It’s Best To Just Accept That

You’ll never win with the seasonal wardrobe changeover.  You will always surge too early.  It will always be too hot or too cold and whatever you need is packed away.  You will probably spend a couple of weeks with ‘near miss’ shoe and outfit combos each year.

If frizzy hair has always been a lifetime problem, it’s only going to get worse when the peri-menopause gets involved.  Adapt by introducing a few curls.

And You Will Not Miss

FOMO.  It just goes.   Just like that.  Off to the FOMO scrap heap.  Unless we are talking about sleep.  Once deprived, never forgotten.

And Going Forward

I will never stop loving the things and experiences that are part of me and my family.  Personal Development and lifelong learning are a big part of what makes me tick.  Along with working, learning and generally trying to be my best self on a Tuesday.  I will also have the odd crap day as I did before just like everyone else does.  Because that’s how it all rolls isn’t it.  A bit of this and a bit of that.  All thrown into the mix.  You can do all of these things at any age.

As a family, we love a do, an event, a holiday, a day out and an experience.  All those new discoveries, places and people that we haven’t met yet.  Ha – that sounds incredibly sickly but it’s not meant too.  I trust that you know me well enough by now!!!!  And then of course is this little Blog, which will also be seeing some changes.

But far more exciting than any of this is that the Paddington Bear movie is out this weekend.  And that has excited me far more than being in The Exclusive 50 Club.








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