So here’s a thing.
Meditation.
Now don’t disappear thinking I’ve gone all ‘hippy’ on you – stick with it.
The closest I have ever got to being a hippy is having a Buddha in the spare room and that was more style over substance. A bit of a fashion statement (oh the shame!) You know what I mean though – all a bit Camden in the nineties’ with a bit of a resurgence a few years back as a ‘statement piece’. Not the point though is it!
I do stroke his belly as I pass though. You’ve got to keep in with these people after all!
Meditation is all part of the Yoga thing that I spoke about recently in Don’t Hold Your Ujaayi Breath!
I’m a slave to the cause. Just look at me!
I am probably one of the least likely people to buy into meditation and mindfulness. Not only do I do everything at 100 miles per hour but I am also skilled in the art of thinking at least 50 things at the same time.
I can quite easily construct a shopping list on the left side of my brain while writing a blog post with the right – and that’s on a quiet day.
So this is not something that is easily accessible to someone like me. And I’m guessing many of you are thinking the same of yourselves.
‘Meditation’ I hear you cry ‘Who’s got time for that’?
My point entirely.
So how do people like us switch off?
Well let me tell you that Mrs Busy Head has made great in roads into this meditation malarkey. And, if I’m going to give it a go, I need to be able to do it properly. Everyone raves about it and I’d had a little go as part of my yoga classes. But, and there is a but, was I doing it right?
As with the breathing, I need a little instruction and as part of the time I spent with Rachel Skipper of Rachel Skipper Yoga, this was something that I started to explore
Because, how does one just go off? It’s all well and good seeing pictures of others in a meditative state, it looks amazing. What about me? And people like me? The sceptical. The ones that think it’s all a little bit ‘out there’.
How do we do it?
Credit : Photography by Kat King
Up until now I’ve really tried – unsuccessfully of course. Mainly, because I didn’t know what I should be doing or feeling or why.
My version of trying to meditate was going boss eyed with my eyes closed. Don’t bother trying it because that has little effect – other than going boss eyed behind your eyelids. I managed to still write lists in this mode. There is always room in the world for a trier though!
Rachel explained that when we think about it, we live our life from the neck upwards. Busy lives and tension stay firmly in the shoulders and above. The rest of the body doesn’t get a look in. We are almost detached from our bodies.
I have to say this is so true and makes so much sense. Although, I can’t think why I haven’t got the rest of the body involved in the thinking project!
By way of further explanation, Rachel used the analogy of being in the back row of the theatre and observing what was going on at the front.
As in our thoughts aren’t just going to disappear because we are meditating, rather we push them away for now. Let them hover but don’t pay them any attention.
The other point Rachel made was that we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts are separate from us.
Yes I know – that one took me a while too. But as far as the pushing the thoughts away goes, I get that and I can do it. It also helps to have an instructor that is able to talk you through the meditation with prompts.
Of course some people find it easier to relax than others. Again, it all comes back to the breathing. For those that struggle to switch off, Mantras* are useful. Something as simple as giving your mind something to do on the breath in and the breath out really helps. You are effectively giving your mind a job to do.
*Mantra Definition – Vehicle for the mind
And therein lies the key to all of this. Allowing ourselves to be mindful. Mindful of our bodies, our surroundings and our self.
Just being aware of your body in this sense is quite something if you are a ‘thinker’. It gets you out of your head for a bit.
Allowing ourselves just 5 minutes to switch off from the bills, the kids, the lists and to just let our minds do nothing, is something that is really alien to many of us.
It took me a while to get anywhere close to switching off and, as with Yoga, it’s all about the practice.
And guess what, our world hasn’t stopped because I meditated for five minutes. The family are alive and well and eating and the world trading systems haven’t come to a grinding halt. And it wasn’t just me that was meditating, others were too. Proof that we can just step away from life without the sky falling down!
It is also possible to nod off during meditation too. I have, and that is really saying something.
I also use some of the mind emptying techniques if I’m struggling to sleep. There is nothing worse than not being able to sleep or not being able to sleep because your mind is too busy.
Sleep patterns do tend to take a pounding in the mid-life stages and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes for my beauty sleep.
I hope others are encouraged by this. It can be very easy to disregard self-care and put the obstacle of being too busy in the way. We can also turn our backs on practices such as meditation as ‘not being for us’ and ‘all a bit out there’ and this is my attempt to draw some parallels from the perspective of a cynic.
As with all things, you can invest as much time as you feel is right for you.
What I do know is that if I miss classes, I really notice it now. And that’s why I make time in my week to attend those that fit with my schedule.
I don’t recommend doing it with the beloved family in the house though. Especially, when you reside with a bunch of comedians. Iron Man takes great delight in shouting ‘Ohm’ whenever I go anywhere near the Yoga mat. He’s the funniest person he knows!!!
Mind the Buddha on the way out!
Namaste!
Nicky x
I haven’t tried actual meditation but I do find ten minutes or so of mindfulness in the garden really clears my mind. Stopping the incessant running around, and just ‘looking’, and taking a few deep breaths works wonders.
I love gardening too Mary. I do have a good think whilst I’m doing it but it’s more about general stuff. Can’t wait to get out there once the weather improves. Always lovely to look around at your efforts isn’t it. Nicky
I only realised recently how often I do use little bits of meditation I have picked up through yoga classes and mindfulness books and the like in my everyday life (despite insisting how busy busy busy I am) Breathing being the main one , if i’m feeling anxious or this house is having a chaotic morning breathing correctly really does help! If I’m struggling to sleep I’ll implement little meditation techniques. So maybe I do have time after all!! #TweensTeensBeyond
Sounds like you are doing a lot already. Look at you with your techniques, Kelly. At least you can feel a bit better about being busy. Spinning one less plate here and there doesn’t notice. Nicky
Nicky, I laughed about your statement that you’re not a hippy. I am a total hippy (underneath the bonnet!) and started a meditation practice with my daughter who was going through a lot of anxiety and stress at school. I wrote about it on the blog and one of the most amazing things that came out of it was that she routinely fell asleep during the meditation! And then I slept better too. So if I hadn’t been sold before (I was), I would totally have been sold after (still am!).
LOVE the statement about living life from the neck upwards. So b*****y true! That is my main takeaway from this. I suspect it will become a bit of a mantra (not that kind) in my house from now on!
Great post! Love your writing style!
#TweensTeensBeyond
Ooh are you – that’s exciting! You’ve obviously really perfected the technique and the fact that it’s helped your daughter and, in turn yourself, speaks volumes. The neck up thing is very true though isn’t it. Thank you for your lovely comment.
Hmmm, food for thought because I’m definitely in the sceptical camp. But then I don’t even like yoga (gasp, I know!) Perhaps it’s time to reasess…. #tweensteensbeyond
I was too Phoebe but having found an exercise that suits, I thought I may as well get involved in the whole thing.
Breathing and being outside is just so helpful. It really makes a difference to our minds and bodies. I so need to be better at finding the time
I think that’s half the battle Nikki!
I am waaayy too much in my head. Even meditating I’m thinking how good it is that i’m meditating. My other half and most of my friends have done Mindfulness courses so feel some of it must rub off without actually having to do anything. I know though – got to actually get stuck into it. Thanks to you and Buddha for the reminder. jo #TweensTeensBeyond
Yep that’s me Jo! And you do have to stick with it. It hardest when you need it most too! But it does get easier.
I’m not a hippy either lol and think I might end up taking the mickey as well. For all of that it must be very relaxing well done and good luck. Thanks for featuring me and hosting #tweensteensandbeyond
It’s definitely not for everyone!! It’s a pleasure, lovely post.
I’ve tried an app on my phone, but I’m not sure if thats a bit ironic. I did it for 2 days. Ive always wanted to have a proper go at it, inspiring post, thank you.
#TweensTeensBeyond
I think a lot of people do that quite successfully but I’ve never tried it. I’m sticking with what works!
Worth a try Gemma x
My therapist suggested mindfulness at the end of my CBT sessions, and I thought I’d give it a go. It takes about 30 seconds for my mind to be elsewhere though! It’s like a nervous twitch. What if my brain doesn’t switch back on!? I definitely need to take a deeper look in to meditation. Being able to clear your mind must be so tranquil. (And maybe then I’ll stop smoking too!) #TweensTeensBeyond
I was the same! I really have to work at Zoe. I’m assuming you don’t try smoking and meditation at the same time!! That would be something!
Just dropping back via the #TweenTeensBeyond linky to add that my teen has decided I should join her in yoga. I’m not sure. She’s way too bendy. I need yoga for old, stiff-jointed people.
That’s exactly it Mary! I was as stiff as a board after time away but the flexibility most definitely returns. There will always be someone bendier but that’s life!
I’ve considered yoga but at the moment my hips are complaining about simply walking around! Once the physio’s finished with me I’ll maybe give it a go. I do love to sit quietly when I can but, as has already been said, my mind VERY quickly starts off down a road of thought at break neck speed… I love to sit and read for hours on end, which truly does take my mind somewhere else and away from cooking the dinner, cleaning the house, arguing with the teenagers, feeding cantankerous cat and trying to persuade hubby into something he’s kicking back against lol!
Can I just say I LOVE your wallpaper and curtains 🙂 #TweensTeensBeyond
Ah, what’s wrong with your hips. I would say it’s great for flexibility but obviously not if you are under the physio. If you can switch off when you are reading, perfect. I still think and read!!! And thanks – Wallpaper Laura Ashley and curtains from Next. Hope the cat starts behaving!
When I initially read your reply I read ‘physio’ as ‘psycho’ and thought ‘Oh my god! She can actually see me!’ lol! The cat is 23 and permanently cantankerous, but the vet says that at her age she’s entitled to be! She has a few blog posts dedicated entirely to her!! 🙂
Of course I can see you!
My friend is currently doing a 6 week mindfulness course and this Friday she has an 8 hour silent retreat -whatever that entails 🙂
She tried very hard to get me to join, but I have a hard time just doing it at home, let alone going to a class for 40 minutes. It is something I want to try, but find it very hard to empty my mind. It’s in constant overdrive. Just taking a breath and slowing down is about all I can do.
Good luck to you! I heard it’s wonderful!
Ooh – I couldn’t be silent for 8 hours, my mind would be on overtime Nadia! It’s definitely easier in a class or 1 to 1.
Oh this is great to read as I’ve recently started employing some meditation style breathing for sleeping when I’m struggling. It’s really tricky to stop your mind wandering constantly back to the worry but eventually it does! I also try to take a pause each day and just focus on breathing for a minute or two – it does wonders for my peace of mind. And you’re so right, it’s about allowing ourselves to be mindful! #TweensTeensBeyond
Good for you. We are obviously all at it. Something about blogging perhaps! I really have to be strict with myself Helen otherwise I’d be off on one!
I went on a 12 week meditation course once to deal with a life change and I just kept falling asleep! I couldn’t get into it at all. I think the life change was so all consuming and exhausting that it just wasn’t the right time for me. I’m glad it’s working for you. I’m sure I’ll revisit it one day. Alison x #tweensteensbeyond
Or maybe you need a damn good rest Alison!
I loved this Nicky – brilliant. My mind is so full of rubbish whirling around. I see what you mean about living life from the neck up, I do ignore the rest of my body quite a lot. I am actually the proud owner of a yoga mat so I will be dusting it down and giving it a go! xx #TweensTeensBeyond
Thank you Sharon. Unroll the mat and give it a go, see what you think x
Yoga is pretty common around here and there are scores of yoga classes. After trying out some I think I’ve finally found the right fit for me. This one has fewer people – just about four or five in a batch. I am still miles away from proper meditation but have become more mindful. I’m also the kind who plans my day silently when I’m told to shut my eyes and concentrate. I think I’ll need more practice to get there.
Both arrived successfully, thank you. Interesting, I’m wondering how that would be with less people. I’m also a day planner but I really have to make myself behave Tulika!
I don;t see my comment so having another go with my wordpress ID:
Yoga is pretty common around here and there are scores of yoga classes. After trying out some I think I’ve finally found the right fit for me. This one has fewer people – just about four or five in a batch. I am still miles away from proper meditation but have become more mindful. I’m also the kind who plans my day silently when I’m told to shut my eyes and concentrate. I think I’ll need more practice to get there.
I’ve linked up from obsessivemom.blogspot.com
I’ve not quite ventured to this yet, but I am loving yoga for my migraines. I think this would be hugely beneficial and something I need to find time to do xx #teenstweensbeyond
Welcome Susan, we are delighted to have you join us. Hope you enjoy reading through some of the posts. Nicky
Interesting Susan. Does it help?
This post is just what I need at the moment as my mind is spinning out of control with a million things whirling around in there – I need reminding that meditation can be so good for you. But like you, it’s very hard for me to switch off. I’ve dabbled in headspace app on my phone but it is so hard to do it in a quiet uninterrupted place in a house full of very noisy people! I need to find a class to go to I think – thx for inspiring me #tweensteensbyond
Better than spinning out of control down a ski-slope though eh!? I didn’t get on with headspace. I’d recommend going to a class as you are more likely to be able to follow the techniques x
I know how you speed about so am very impressed that you have had success with meditating. Have thought about it (ha!) and will give it a go!
Stop thinking and start ‘ohm’ing and ‘aah’ing!
LOL – I use the meditation time in my yoga class to actually write the lists! I’m sorry – I can’t help it. I justify it by saying I’m so disorganised that these lists help my day run smoother = more zen. I have tried honestly, but I fell asleep and now, that really is a pure waste of time!
I know what you mean about missing it though – I’ve not done any for about 10 days and my back is killing me now! I know what I’m up to tomorrow!
My physio is nagging me to do Yoga or Pilates to help with my hip pain. I must look into it a bit more…
It’s really helped my back and neck, so I’d certainly give it a go Karen.
Nicky I love that you have written this for the cynic. Many years ago I worked for a lady who was a Buddhist, had a shrine in her house and regularly encouraged us to have periods of meditation during our working day. To be honest back then I thought the whole thing was ridiculous and did it under duress with one eye open, but with age comes wisdom and taking a few moments to step out of life makes complete sense now. I do however need to perfect my technique and you have encouraged me to keep trying. A lovely post. Jo x
I like the one eye open bit Jo. My daughter had someone that came in to school for a while to do it with the kids. They absolutely hated it and all messed around. Hardly surprising! It’s one of those things you really have to want to do to have any chance of success. Good luck!
I’ve tried slowing down mentally and doing the breathing exercises and always wonder off again to my mental list of things I’ve got to do. But practicing a little at a time does help. Great post.