When I’m 49!
Well now I am!
And this post has sprung to mind for several reasons.
Number One – I turned 49 last week. Facebook said so.
Number Two – Someone asked if I would be writing lots of blog posts about being 49. The answer is no – just this one. I’m stacking the whole lot into one post. Thoughts that sprung to mind about being 49.
There will be updates of course but my intention was never to be predictable and boring. I’ll fight that one harder than I will acting 50. Although I must credit that person with the idea! You know who you are. Works every time!
I will do updates if circumstances arise! And they will arise, I’m sure!
This will take the form of a list and there will, as expected, be 49 things. There will be good advice, bad advice or no advice. None of it is rock and roll. I apologise if this disappoints.
I will leave you to decide which to take and which to leave. I accept no responsibility for any of the points.
This is not a historic tome of my life events. It’s a glossary.
I received a compliment from my daughter recently. That will of course go straight in at No. 1. The rest are in no particular order.
Receive compliments gracefully. If your 10 year old daughter utters the words “You look really cool”, that is a compliment not to be sniffed at. It has taken 10 years. Received. Quick wink at myself in the mirror and walk round all day doing a special walk.
Receive comments gracefully anyway. We are the world’s worst. Receive it and thank the person. Giving them 5 reasons why your hair doesn’t look nice isn’t great for either party. Nothing worse than putting people off from doing it again is there?! Especially if it is a special outfit day (See No. 1)
If you are a parent, you will be an old parent irrespective of your age. All parents are old. If you didn’t get cracking until later (like me and my hunk), you are likely to be one of the oldest parents in the class. Other children may mention this fact to your child. They will, at this point, leave the list of potential future suitors or get a swift smack round the head depending on who is looking.
I will always doubt my parenting skills, just like you. But I will allow myself a wink in the mirror and a special walk when I realise I did something OK.
People will never fail to amaze you. In good ways and bad ways. That’s what makes them so interesting.
You will forget things in a busy and forgetful head kind of way. You will question this and wonder if it’s ‘a sign’ and then realise you have forgotten what the question was. No harm done.
You do get less patient as you get older. This may be why older people push in at bus queues. Quite simply, they are sick and tired of queuing. Who can blame them. They have been doing it all of their lives. Let them go in front. This will pay itself forward tenfold.
People are flaky. It is not you. The benefit of ‘flakies’ is that you can flake back. I blame the digital world for this. Face to face flaking is less easy.
Unless, unless, unless you are 49. In this case, you will notice that honesty is your new best friend. No need for a digital flake.
Watch this one though because these could be the very same people that will witness you smelling of wee in about 40 years. Your aim here is that they feel OK to tell you. It’s not like you haven’t been expecting it. Everyone has been talking about it all of their lives. You can even buy cards now saying so. Just send me a bloody text if it’s easier.
Honesty does have a friend in waiting for the faint-hearted. It’s called discretion.
Moisturise your neck – every single day.
You will see the doctor more often.
Hair will come and go. No two days are the same. It will cost you whether it is coming or going.
Some people have a sense of entitlement. That will of course be every one else’s fault.
You will be judged. Over and over. You will also have done it. If we all started out life being our own judges, life would be peachy. Nevertheless it’s a road that has to be travelled.
Comparison is the theft of joy – You will start to do it less. Like you really need to just stop. Guilty. It will stop.
Saying No. It’s incredibly liberating. You will s**t yourself and think the sky is going to fall on your head for doing so. This hasn’t happened yet. It’s been a while now.
The most awkward questions and the ones that you generally cannot answer will be raised by your offspring either a) as you approach a difficult roundabout or b) when you are trying to do a serious under pressure reverse parking manoeuvre. Know that it is OK to say ‘not now’. This wisdom only came to me 3 days ago. Slow starter. This will always be a question you cannot answer. Don’t try. Don’t be the hero. It’s OK not to know. Perfect parking should out on these occasions.
If you have chosen the parenting route, you have to stick to it.
Reconcile yourself with the fact that you will be doing days out with the kids well into your fifties, sixties and seventies. Keep the wellies but do not keep the pram. It’s not a good look with shopping in it and no child. Pray for more farms in the meantime.
Spending time in your own company is seriously under-rated.
Cherish your friends with different interests.
You do not have to follow the crowd. The sooner you learn this one the better.
Accept Social Media for all it’s faults and warts. There is a scroll button. I entrust you to do the same with my ramblings as and when the need arises.
A spare pair of shoes in your bag may be just the thing. Some shoes were only ever meant for car to bar.
There is always something to learn. Do it every day.
Conversely, there are some things which you just will never grasp. Accept it and move on.
You will experience many hormonal changes. This will be as well as your own.
Long lunches win out over late nights.
Staying in is the new going out – unless you happen to be going out. Date nights are late nights.
Onesies are one of the best inventions in my lifetime.
There is generally always a reason for something. Dig deep and you will discover.
When going on holiday, you will make an increasing number of passport checks for every year of your life
Technology moves at a very fast pace. To think I was one of the ‘users’ for the ‘pilot’ rolling out of the Internet for a FTSE 100 company in the first half of my life could potentially earn me an award of some kind in the future.
This historical information can only add value to a classroom.
Little do they know I’ve used a telex machine too. The likes of which is now in the ‘not so’ Secret Nuclear Bunker in Kelevedon. I kid you not.
Take plenty of selfies. No.34 may come to fruition and your little face could line the walls of your great grand-children’s school corridors for a Services to the Telex Industry Award.
If they can only put their hands on the one of you with your tongue out, dog ears and a bow, they are so not going to believe you were such a square in your heyday.
Get used to being surrounded by Experts.
I was once the youngest person in the office. Whatever happened to work colleagues from bygone days. They certainly don’t show up on Social Media. Might be something to do with the fact that none of them could open an e-mail. I miss them!
I have seen many fashions reinvent themselves. The perm is not one of them. Why?
Correction : The word is being used in my house. Could this be it? The rumblings of a resurgence. Watch this space.
Garden Centres take on a new lease of life.
Always show up.
Self care is the new rock and roll.
Champagne before Prosecco. The alphabet says so even if your pocket doesn’t.
I have embraced Social Media but I am SO very glad I had the opportunity to grow up without it.
Carbon copies were the way to go. Manual typewriters were a thing. They were also a bit vicious and are probably responsible for a lot of the finger related stress we are now seeing.
The job market is very different. None of this ‘proper job’ lark anymore.
What actually is a ‘proper job’. I am asking myself this same question. I sort of know the answer because I think I did a proper job for 30 odd years. I’ve got time for another 30 odd too. Does a ‘little job’ count as a ‘proper job’.
I think I may compile a list of non-‘proper’ jobs. Start a ‘Non-Proper Job Agency’. Would it catch on? That in itself is not a proper job of course.
If you told me I’d be blogging 35 years ago, I would have laughed you out of town. I was still coming to terms with the fact that someone had read my diary.
My prediction is that ‘unconventional’ may just be hot on our heels.
Here’s to having done a little bit of it all.
I’m off to get a perm
PS This is how I look now that I’m a grown-up (I’m the one on the right!)