For those of us that are old enough to remember, we have seen something akin to this GDPR malarkey before. The Year 2000. The Millennium to be precise. The year that the world was going to come to an end. The year that many had just purchased a Home PC and turned on a computer only to find that it would be seized by aliens on 31 December 1999. How’s your luck! You probably even sat in on New Year’s Eve too. Fear told you that nowhere would be safe.
Of course, as with all things there was lots of money to be made on the back of this little period of time. Some made their fortune and we all sat in on New Year’s Eve with a party popper on the off-chance that the world’s transport system would come to a grinding halt. Er, hello!? – ever tried getting a cab on New Year’s Eve?!
But fortune favours the brave and those that did venture out will have duly paid a treble fare as soon as the clock chimed 0000 on the 1st January 2000, if not before. Kerching!
Good luck to them. You’ve got to be in it to win it.
Of course, I had to get caught up in the fever as much as the next person and I purchased a Millennium Time Capsule. In a tin box. It was here that I was to record everything about the Millennium to be handed down to any children I may have going forward. There are two things in it. One of those is my name. We were all fooled and I have the bullet proof tin box to prove it.
So I can’t help but feel a bit of ‘here we go again’. After we have all trembled in our boots and paid appropriate homage to the ‘GDPR Experts’, we are actually no further forward. Other than to have seen the light. And the love. And not just because of Michael Curry’s stonking sermon last Saturday. Although he could have perhaps mentioned GDPR – told the world not to worry about it. One love.
And this time we are threatened with a fine too which has really made everyone run for their GDPR bible.
We have spent months treating GDPR experts like sacred gods, yet not one of them could tell us what ‘we should do’. Once again everyone is an ‘Expert’ and no one knows a bloody thing.
The irony of this is of course that those for whom this exercise was intended, will ignore it.
We’ve all done the indignant ‘it’s a great way to cleanse our inbox’ thing and empowered ourselves to take no action. We’re not opting back-in thank you very much. But just wait until Monday. Life will have gone back to normal. The ICO website will hopefully have recovered from its crash tomorrow and it will be business as usual.
So, do we really think that by ignoring all these emails that we will suddenly have an empty inbox on Monday? No chance.
It will be full of toot from the usual suspects.
It has been a learning journey that has rivalled Netflix in terms of videos, documents and regurgitated Privacy Policies. We are all so very tired now. We would go on holiday but we’ve been unsubscribed from the Travel Company website.
And then there will no doubt be some pay outs for the lucky few. That probably won’t be you or I either (see Party Poppers). Because we usually sit back stoically and receive toot without complaint.
There is one exception to this rule and that is the person that keeps on sending me emails regarding my funeral. In the same way that I did not ask to be here, I do not know when I am going to die. And I sure as hell didn’t sign up to your Mailing List. But you have my details and those of my friends tucked away in your Midlife database. Not a word from you lot though – eh?
So I’m afraid if you are one of my 12 subscribers you will automatically receive a copy of my Privacy Notice at some point soon. That’s another few hours I won’t get back. There have been several of those incidents this week.
You could of course just unsubscribe here and now and not wait for the Privacy Notice. It’s a stroke of luck for me that you would already have done a double opt-in to receive my wise words. Who knew! So I don’t really need to be writing this but I’m too scared not to.
But let’s remember this is a marathon not a sprint. We are not going to rounded up tomorrow (25 May 2018) for failing to comply. It is just the start of the process.
The only people that you won’t have heard from are those that really know what they are doing. I do wish I could have been that person – just not this time.