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I am going to talk about a condition which I have noticed becomes particularly prevalent at this time of year – ‘Listitis’.

I can’t promise that it’s not contagious but do read on.

‘Listitis’ refers to a peculiar passion for a list.

I really love a list.

If I’m being particularly honest with myself, for me and I suspect many others, this is a year round condition which becomes particularly heightened and aggravated as the festive season approaches.

Present lists, card lists, food lists – suddenly I feel like a celebrity – do I really know this many people and have they always eaten excessively?

Is it a woman thing I wonder?

Listitus

I know it’s certainly a man thing to tamper with ‘the list’ once it’s in full flow.

Now this I find particularly bloody annoying especially when there has been nowt so much as a nod towards everything coming together.  Suddenly they see the list and oh yes – they are interested.

So interested in fact that they even go so far as to attempt to do things on the list, completely unaware that the list is not in this alone.

Lists operate generally from the basis of being ‘in the know’.

Many a brave man has experienced his wrath at this very thing.  Because for the list makers among us, what we know that no one else is aware of, is that behind every good list are some separate piles and a history!!

Now I may be given to a little bit of OCD but don’t tell me that you’re not secretly smiling inwardly and thinking “thank god, it’s not just me”, as you stroke your little pile of gifts for the people that you always see the last Tuesday before Christmas (and they, of course, are completely “separate” from the school gifts)!

Can I live without my list – absolutely not!

Does the other half thing I’m crazy – of course he does.

I do, however, live in a household where the list has a history.

A history that makes one particularly protective over their lists.

Listitus

My list has a history because one fine day a couple of years ago as I prepared the freezer for defrosting, I made a list of what meals were left that needed to be eaten.  I also made a list of what needed to be purchased to go with each meal.  Simples.

So far so good.

I really, really do love a list!

Iron Man offered to go food shopping and I gave him the list telling him there wasn’t much to get as I was running the freezer down.

Over an hour later I was starting to wonder where he was when the car pulled up outside.

Iron Man proceeded to drag many bags from the boot.

Surely, he is joking?  Has he taken it upon himself to go ‘off list’ I wondered?

Oh no – it’s worse than that.  Far worse.

Now it could be argued that I only have myself to blame.  I will leave that to you to decide.

List No. 1 was on one side of the paper.  List No.2 was on the other.

He had gone and bought the bloody lot.  Everything we already had.  Both lists.

To say I overreacted is an understatement.  I think he was about to call an ambulance.  It wasn’t just the freezer that needed defrosting.

He even offered to take it back.

I’m laughing as I write this as it has provided a source of much amusement since.

An hour on a Saturday afternoon with lasting memories – we sure know how to party!

Fortunately, frost never stays for very long in this household.

Listitus

We ate very well that week and the freezer didn’t get defrosted that year.

However, the household has been left with a Listory (a list with a history).

I now have Lisitis.  A common symptom of Listory.

I hope a cure is never found.

I would be nothing without my list.

Do you have it or think you might be on your way to getting it?

Nicky

 

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